Become Your Number One Fan

Our identity is wrapped up in what others think of us—or, more accurately, what we think others think of us.

Jay Shetty

Often times when we wake up and go throughout our day, we try to live up to what we think others think of us. We do this even at the expense of our own values. I want to say it is human nature to do so, but I don’t think it is. We have been programmed through social media to constantly be comparing ourselves to others. Applications like Facebook and Instagram are right at our finger tips at all times. Through these apps, you see Joe and Sally post 15 second highlights of their best lives. These people may or may not have consummate happiness, but for that brief amount of time when you click, we think so. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Sometimes you have to put your blinders on and filter out all the excess noise. The true way to building a meaningful life is to filter out all that outside chatter and look within. There is a lot going on in our country right now and I am not saying completely ignore the outside world / politics but you can’t let it dictate your life.

Become your own number one fan. Nobody believes in you as much as yourself. Be gentle and talk to yourself a bit more (it’s not that looney, I promise). While some thick skulled people will hate you for this, most people will love to make you part of their life to have a taste of that energy you have. Self belief is always the first step towards success. Waking up and attacking the day with this mindset will help separate you from the average person. Loving yourself = competitive life advantage? I’ll take that.

Happy Friday! Through the line, not to the line. Finish strong.

Thursday Mood: RIDE THE WAVE

Poseidon – God of the sea, earthquakes and storms . Own the storms of your life. Show up and deal with the emotional day to day waves. DANCE IN THE MOTHA FUCKIN RAIN!

2020 is a lesson in not forcing things to happen. Work with the flow of energy rather than against it.

It really is unpredictable what life is going to throw at you. You wake up and wish for a great day, but can’t always control the uncontrollable (external events). Being able to deal with the highs and lows of the emotional coaster that comes with life is one of the biggest skills you can teach your mind to do. It is by no way easy. It is human nature to automatically act on emotion. Whether that be a good or a bad one

So I challenge you today to “RIDE THE WAVE”. If you are having a bad moment in time, remember… This will pass. For it is exactly that, just a moment in time. Sit with the feeling and remember that.

QOTD: Fear of Failure

Question of the Day: Do you let your fear of failure stop you from giving your best?

This is a new segment I am going to implement one to two times a week on this blog. It gives not only myself, but you guys as the readers a chance to ask yourself these deep and often times complex questions. That question is only one sentence and thirteen words, but it has already sparked much emotion and thought flow in my mind. Doing these early in the morning can give your brain a little jump start you may need that day. It doesn’t hurt to connect with your inner emotions and ask yourself these things.

Do you let your fear of failure stop you from giving your best?

No. The fear of personal failure has never stopped me from giving my best on a day to day basis. Other non-controllable have though such as a lack of confidence, not being assertive and a lack of focus.

That being said, I hate failure. I am extremely tough on myself and maybe that comes from being coached at the highest levels from my childhood through college. It is the way my brain works and sometimes it is counter productive when I am not gentle on myself. Sometimes the fear of failing through taking a huge life risk can enter my thought process and that can tie into the fear of failure stopping me from giving my best because I have the fear of leaving my comfort zone. This can be career, relationships, routines, habits etc.. It is completely normal to be afraid of failing. Just make sure when you fail, you fail upwards 🙂

As long as you stay self aware about your own fears and failure, you will be able to navigate these waters more smoothly.

Popped My Meat Cherry

Buon appetito! This is a no judge zone here. It may come as a surprise and I’ll admit.. it’s a bit embarrassing to type out, but I’ve never cooked a steak before. Never. Not one time. I don’t know what got into me today, but on my way home from getting a COVID test (I am negative), I decided to treat myself to my favorite steak house down here for lunch. It’s called Butchers Block in Long Branch. This place was all the rave this summer and the fall. Interesting to see how they do with Murphy’s new laws for indoor dining this winter… what a shit show.

I walked in and they don’t do take out, they know me a bit there so I asked for a pound and a half of the fresh cut filet. I don’t know why, but for some reason I thought they were going to cook it up for me.. this was not the case. The butcher cut and wrapped me a beautiful piece of filet. Handed it over to a man who has never once cooked a steak before.

What do I do with this…. but man oh man, look at the marble finish! Oh, it is glorious. So now it’s time to get to work! My mouth was watering. Here is my play by play breakdown

I have every single window open in the apartment, all the kitchen vents on. Sizzle Sizzle baby! Can taste these beauts through the video

Look at the presentation! I mean… C’MON! This is a three filet Thursday lunch for one. It doesn’t get more manly than this! The seasoning was surprisingly perfect, if anything, I’d put a little less on next time around. I had some OG Delmonico’s Steak Sauce on the side to get some extra taste boost there. Reminds me of good oleeeeee New York City. Feels like yesterday.

As my Nonna would say, I was a “buono forchetta” AKA “good fork”!

I would give myself a 9.6/10 on this dish. I’m not just talking my book up, I had some serious skill in there. I’m not sure if I want to keep this cooking thing going, BUT I will say I had a lot of fun and the juicy meat was much more rewarding to eat when you have cooked it yourself. Maybe I’ll focus strictly on cooking animal meats in the kitchen. That will be my niche.

10/10 cooking experience, would do

PS – This was my first time incorporating pictures and videos. I hope it came out well.

Daily Gratitude

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness.

Throughout this blog I have talked about some of my new daily healthy habits I have incorporated during these last 8 months. One of my habits is writing down three things I am grateful for. It is one of the first things I do in the morning before taking on the rest of my day. Often times, we focus on what we don’t have in life or we can get in the mindset of comparing our lives to others. I can not stress how toxic of a mental state that is and hence why social media can be so destructive for modern day mental health. It is extremely easy for people to feel insecure in a world of social media highlight reels. You have to disconnect regularly. It is so crucial, yet difficult because we have everything at our finger tips, literally! Learn to disconnect to reconnect.

Three Things I am Grateful for Today (10/22/20):

  • My health
  • My family (and dogs!)
  • My personal relationships

These don’t need to be wordy or complex. Do not over think these, for there are no right or wrong answers! They have apps for daily gratitude. A popular one is called, “Five Minute Journal” which is AWESOME. I highly recommend checking it out if you need some structure to start out with. I used this from March until end of May, but then moved to pen and paper. There is something about hand writing my daily gratitude list. It is almost like the ink to the paper makes these things manifest more. Writing these things down disconnects us from toxic, negative emotions that we sometimes focus on as human beings. This is normal, do not beat yourself up over having these thoughts. Train your mind to be like a flowing river of thoughts. Don’t hang on the highs for too long, don’t hang on the lows for too long. Let the thoughts flow.

Expressing gratitude has a ton of benefits:

  • Reduces stress
  • Increase in happiness and mood. Enhance positive emotions
  • More satisfaction through day to day life
  • Helps celebrate the present
  • Strengthen your social ties with relationships and self-worth (self-esteem)
  • Improves health, both physical and psychological

Get into the daily habit of this. It only takes a few minutes of your 24 hour day and the upside of life improvement is tremendous. It is a fantastic investment in your mental health growth. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish the good experiences, improve health, deal with adversity and help build strong relationships. Try this everyday for two weeks and you will see a difference.

Grateful for your time and for finishing my blog!

Internal Mirror

2020 has been quite the year. Being in universal quarantine has given not just myself, but the whole world a time to really look at yourself in the mirror and self reflect on the last _ years of your life. You find out what has worked. You find out what hasn’t worked. You find out what tools you are going to use moving forward to come out of this pandemic stronger and a better version of yourself.

What is something you’ve learned about yourself over the last month?

Don’t just read that above question out loud. Really think and sit on that for a bit. Challenge yourself.

2020 has truly taught us the value of “time”. Kobe Bryant’s sudden death that shocked the world has heighted this value that we sometimes don’t always take the TIME (no pun intended) to stop and think about the concept. I have made it a point to know the true value of time. Life is too short to linger on problems and lose your courage over.

This Coronavirus is fucking horrible, BUT you have to find the small silver linings in tough situations like this virus has handcuffed us in. This virus has taught us the meaning of our priorities in life and what is truly important as we go through our day to days. Health, family and friends are just three of the many things in our life to be grateful for and not a day should go by where these are looked over or taken for granted(above paragraph for reference). We as a society have come to appreciate this more during the global lockdown. Crazy what can be taken away from you at any point in time. Even your own freedom to eat a damn burger inside!

So to answer the originally question, What is something you’ve learned about yourself over the last month?

I have learned to love myself more. I have learned to prioritize my health both physically and mentally. Using tools that were always there in my arsenal, but never seemed to utilize. I learned to put on my running shoes, chuck the airpods in (no free ads) and go for a run after work to decompress and compartmentalize my work days. This assures me that if I have a bad day at the office, I don’t bring it home with me and let it affect my 5:30pm on. I have learned to drink less with a conscious focus on moderation. The toxic social cycle of drinking two days a week and then going out heavy every weekend takes a massive toll on you mentally.

Like running, I have used the art of yoga to not only help me physically, but mentally AND spiritually. The work I put in on the mat gets reflected off the mat. I am not only benefiting myself, but everyone I interact with after! A true win win for everyone involved in my life. I find myself running around a lot (especially mentally), so yoga gives me an excellent carved out space in my day to slow my mind down and focus on being present in the flow practice. Also don’t hate the fact that I can feel myself becoming more flexible by the day! Yoga has so many benefits and I can’t recommend “Yoga with Adriene” enough (Check out her YouTube page). I have seen an increase in muscle strength and tone, better respiration and energy, and even a better sense of improved athletic performance. It pairs very well with my running practice.

Some people hate this year and the number sequence of “2020” gives them PTSD already, but I have enjoyed this time of self reflection. I strongly believe that I have become and will come out of this time a much better version of myself than I came in with.

2020 isn’t over yet, go finish it out strong and build daily healthy habits!

RIP NYC Social Scene

Coronavirus 1 – Having Fun at bars in New York City 0

There is no two ways about it.. the NYC social scene is dead. I was in the city a couple weekends ago watching the College Football Saturday slate with my friends and it felt so weird. Our party was for 12 people, but the law only allowed 10 at the table, which lead us to having to split two tables. 6 by 6. It truly felt like I was in a high school classroom again. No one was allowed to stand up. If I wanted to talk to my friend at the table now next to me, I had to play musical chairs and hunch my way over to their table. To use the common bathroom in the bar? 15-20 min. No exaggeration. I don’t care if you’re with your best friends, that’s not fun. I guess you can be bullish on apartment house parties making a comeback again.

Halloween is, and will always be the most overrated US Holiday. I don’t see myself doing anything like I have done in years past(large gathering). It’s a shame too because it’s on an actual Saturday this year!

Back to the social scene of NYC – I am not living there at the moment so maybe I am a bit bias, but I seriously have no reason to unnecessarily rag on the “new norm” of the city. But I am willing to fall on the sword that says, right now. As of October 13th 2020, the city is not fun.

Example: Let’s say you go out to dinner with a coworker and then 2 clients on a beautiful Thursday night after work in the fall. That’s a four person dinner. You eat somewhere in the West Village at 7pm. Now what do you do after? The bars? No, you can’t just hop around and find a nice tavern for post dinner night cap drinks. It is going to be difficult to find a place that will perfectly fit your party size of a walk-in table to get seated. The whole thing is backwards and a mess.

For me selfishly speaking (also learning it’s OK to be selfish), not living in the city, I am not getting that FOMO because I am missing absolutely nothing. I am not going out 2x a week AND then going out on the weekends. That has been a toxic social cycle I was stuck in and also a big money waster. Both my body AND my wallet have been thanking me. Taking this social aspect out of my life has made me much improved. Silver lining in everything.

Disclaimer – this blog is in no way meant to bash the city or not root for a comeback. If anything, I know it will come back stronger and more lively than ever. Until then.. I’ll be posted on the Ocean through Spring and enjoy weekend visits as a touris.

Cold Shower Gang #CSG

This simple life hack is a no brainer. If you are reading this, you own a shower. It will cost you absolutely nothing in US dollars and the only extra step you have to take is just don’t turn the temperature handle all the way left. The cold shower gang is an elite group of individuals. I joined the #CSG in May and have not looked back. A close friend of mine (shoutout NB) and the legendary, Wim “Ice Man” Hoff recruited me to take on this new habit. I have seen a ton of good benefits from this simple daily adjustment. Here are the top 4 benefits from cold showers I have seen:

Increase in willpower – When you wake up in the morning, your body is craving a hot shower and you automatically want to turn the handle all the way. This is beyond normal. Take this mindset away and replace it with something you don’t necessarily want to do ( a 50 degree shower at 6am) to increase your willpower. This then translates to other things in life you may not have control over. Drinking, drugs, gambling, food moderation (snack city) , attention craving and even sex. When that first cold blast of liquid hits your skin, your body and mind get a bit of a shock. When I hear the word, “shock” I automatically think bad. But this is a good kind! This shock increases your oxygen intake and increases your heart rate (speeds up metabolism). The exposure to these cold temperatures causes stem cells to form brown fat instead of white fat… FUN FACT! Brown fat causes our bodies to burn extra calories to keep warm.. So if we can produce brown instead of white fat, that could help burn off excess body fat you may or may not have put on during quarantine. Not all fats are bad… Covid- 15 > The Freshman 15.

Increase Blood Circulation – An increase in your circulation is one of the top reasons why experts recommend cold showers. Poor cardiovascular circulation compromises blood flow, thus stressing out the heart. This then leads to a number of health problems.. fatigue, headaches, high blood pressure, muscle cramps etc.. When you improve your circulation, you are improving your heart health. The fresh increase in blood flow is enhancing your mental health performance, boosting your immune system (which is HUGE right now for a global pandemic) and helps develop more strength and energy to live the best way you want. We talk about being able to control what YOU can control. Taking care of your body and your health through daily habits is one thing you can do during this global health pandemic.

Reduces Muscle Inflammation – This has been my personal favorite benefit and something that I have really been noticing. After my running workouts, I ALWAYS take a cold shower and this helps reduce muscle soreness in the present and the following day to come. Cold water immersion has been scientifically proven to fight against the infamous DOM ( delayed muscle soreness). The cold showers lower the damaged tissue’s temperatures and constrict the blood vessels in these sore/sensitive areas. This is proven to help reduce any swelling and inflammation. Don’t just take this from a new blogger, but take it from the hundreds of professional athletes you see soaking in an ice bath after a strenuous workout. This is a simple, free, easy and natural way of speeding up the recovery process. This. Shit. Works.

Level Up in Happiness – Feeling down or stressed out? TAKE A COLD SHOWER. It is very difficult to be worried about something while you are taking on extreme temperatures on either side of the spectrum. Going from one extreme temperature to another is the best way to stay present.

A 2007 research study found that cold showers can help treat depression symptoms, and if used on a routine basis alongside lifestyle adjustments (cut beer out and boost your T levels), can complement the effects of prescription medications in lifting moods.

Pretty cool, right? The cold water triggers a flood of mood-boosting neurotransmitters which make you feel happy. It is a pure and natural rush of dopamine! Next time you feel yourself down and a bit of a depressed mental funk, get naked and take a cold shower. Report back.

Bottom line is this stuff works. Science has proven it and I also have tested it first hand. Give it a shot. Start with even just 45 seconds cold if you want to dabble with this concept. Cold showers will activate your natural healing powers to put you in a better psychological and mental state. You will start to feel yourself get healthier and happier. Definitely worth the building this into your lifestyle. Enjoy and GET COLD!

Addiction (Guest Blog)

Addiction – Let’s talk about it. Booze, Cocaine, Strippers (the cocktail of trouble), gambling, winning, stealing, cheating, success, masturbation, puppies. Although most of these have had a net positive effect on society and continue to run almost all of my thought. These are some of the biggest vices that I have and will have for the rest of my life. 

But today I found a new vice. Something that I have never experienced before. Coffee. Did you know that coffee actually comes from coconut trees? Well it doesn’t. It comes from the seeds of berries. MMM! The first time that beatiful taste of chocolate and caramel touched my lips, I instantly knew my life would never be the same. 

Now, you’re probably thinking this is going to turn into me bragging about how much more I could accomplish, much like one of those crossfit freaks who puts “coffee addict” and posts videos of himself power snatching 250 pounds every day at 4AM. No. My newest vice, coffee, instantly sent a shock of exhiliration down my spine that I haven’t felt since I sucked on my mom’s titty for the first time. I immediately had the urge to spit some of the best game I ever have seen (by myself or others). 

I immediately walked up to the counter, hoping to spur a little of giggling from the overweight, mulatto barista. Knowing that I had to hydrate due to the diaretics I have often heard about in coffe, I ordered a “bottle of water.” She immediately handed some bullshit cardboard milk carton full of water, smiled, at me and said “here you go.” 

Knowing I had to spit game and win her over due to my recently acquired superpower, I quipped, “this is good for the environment, right?” she confirmed, then I retorted: “good, then I’m going to throw it on the ground as soon as I get outside.” 

“You like littering?” she said. “Yes, it makes me feel very naughty.” I winked and walked away. As I sat down at my table to finish my final paper for the semester, she approached me with her newly minted business card on bone colored paper with Silian Rail typeface, handed it to me, and requested that I call her within the next 72 hours.

Today was the day I added one more vice to my collection of addictions. Today is the day I will never look back. If only I could go out and test it out at the BARS tonight – but I have to be up at 3AM for Crossfit.

Until next time, cheers.


Rabbit Rabbit

Happy October! Cheers to a new month. Cheers to new goals. Cheers to making it a great one.

September was a great month for me personally. I hit my Nike Run Club achievement of 50 miles in a month. Yesterday I ran my personal best 10K run at a pace of 7’56! I am so proud of myself and all of the hard work I put in. To be honest, my month of September didn’t start out all that great.. but I was proactive about being aware of what WASN’T working and making a conscious choice to fix it to better myself. I am going to continue to use this momentum into this new month.

New month but also a full moon! It is a bit eerie but also exciting. October 1st and a full moon. I feel a very powerful energy in the air and emotions can definitely get heightened during this time. On Sep 17, 2020 there was a new moon and I set some pretty good intentions for myself. My choices have become a bit more magnified during this full moon but it’s also a time where I can really enjoy them and appreciate them manifesting in all their glory.

(SIDE NOTE – I am not a big astrology guy as that paragraph and the paragraph to come make me out to be)

Heading into this month I am feeling a great deal of confidence and self-acceptance of myself. I feel like I have been soaking in the benefits from my actions over the last few weeks.

Things this full moon has to offer:

Ability to be strong, take action and initiate on feelings.
Have to find a happy balance with this type of energy. No big highs, no big lows.. stay present and balanced.

I have been feeling confident and very in touch with myself. Feel like I am starting to become more and more comfortable with my own rhythms, cycles and patterns of myself. Like I said in the beginning, finding what works and what doesn’t. Life will always throw obstacles your way, it is about dealing with adversity and coming out stronger. Still working on that skill set one day at a time. Can’t wait to crush my first run of the month and first true run under a full moonlight!

So here is to a great month of October. Happy to be sharing my journey with all of you. Make it a great one!