Get Decisive

“The more decisive you are

the less anxiety you will feel.”

This correlation has been something I’ve been thinking on for a bit. Becoming more decisive has been a mental intention of mine and one that I have not personally been doing that great with. Whether it’s sending a text message/email or deciding plans, I can never make up my mind and ultimately end up victim to ole indecisiveness. This can sometimes be a crippling and extremely frustrating thought process when you are constantly having self doubt and questioning what you are saying when you are sending a message to someone.

Being decisive means that you can handle a fuck up. In other words, it means you can handle the decision of being wrong. Anxiety about decisions is tough for many people, but making a choice faster allows you to move on to something else and stop worrying. The more in tune you are with the “now”, the more decisive you will become. This can also tie back to past themes I have talked on about staying in the present moment (ironic sentence).

When we are making these decisions, we are in a mental spider-web of being stuck. Once we have a plan and start moving, anxiety disappears. Our brains don’t even care about the “quality” of the plan or choice, only that there is movement! Less action = more anxiety. Get out of that sticky spider web and get decisive with your thought action!

A Runner’s Experience

It was one year ago from today when I ran my first Half Marathon in Brooklyn 2019. It was a cold, but crisp fall morning. I had never run a half marathon in my life before. I had only seen basic betch instagram’s of guys and girls my age running through the streets of NYC or Boston while their friends hold up signs. This isn’t a humble brag, but I am a relatively “popular” kid. This is ironic because NO ONE was there to support me when I crossed the finish line. My friends would’ve came if I had asked them to, but this wasn’t about social status or for anyone else. This was about myself and personal pride.

As an ex Division 1 athlete, running was never my thing. I HATED it. “Hate” is such a strong word, so maybe I really fucking despised running. I think this also stemmed from the fact that it was always a chore. I was always forced to run. It was never a luxury or a personal freedom of choice. I strongly believe this factor had a huge part in it.

One of my friends, who is extremely into fitness and nutrition recommended that I join this running challenge with him for the month of September. It’s a “Mile-a-Day Challenge” for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. The concept is simple, you run a mile a day for everyday in the month of September. Build daily healthy habit of lacing of the kicks and putting them to the pavement. I am not a fan of “30 Day Challenges” because what’s the point if you’re going to go back to your old ways after it? I am a believer however of using those 30 day challenges to help build daily healthy habits in which you can accumulate gains and personal growth off of. This is exactly what I did.

Not going to lie, I got a bit cocky around the mid mark of September after lacing up the shoes and running every single day. I decided to look into Half Marathons near me given I am in the biggest city in the country. I saw that there was a Brooklyn Half Marathon on October 19th, 2019 and I was like… this is it. I AM DOING THIS. I adjusted my running routine a bit… running for more than 5KS (3.10miles) a day and going for at least 8 miles a clip every time I put those shoes on because I knew on that Saturday October 19th, I was going to need to reach 13.1 miles.

Despite the rough start of leaving my official runner’s bib in the Starbucks, I showed up in the Brooklyn that morning, the energy was surreal. It felt like I was lining up in a tunnel for an NFL game. So much diversity… men and women from all parts of the world. Remember, NYC has a ton of foreigners, all ages as well. I had my shoes laced up (custom Kids for Kids yellow laces), my leggings tight, my long sleeve fit, and my running bib in check. I was really about to run my first half marathon! I ended up crushing it and it was one of the greatest achievements of my life. There was no one at the finish line (I met up with friends that afternoon, please don’t think I’m throwing a pity party), but being able to look up after conquering those 13.1 miles was such a great accomplishment. I had a smile from ear to ear. I had done it.

With 2020 circumstances of large group gatherings, there have been no communal marathon / half marathon runs, BUT… I do plan on running a 10 mile run THIS Saturday. October 23rd. Again, no other reason than for myself and pure accomplishment. I have been having an awesome October with my running practice. I am at 32.70 miles this month! One day at a time. One run at a time.

RIP NYC Social Scene

Coronavirus 1 – Having Fun at bars in New York City 0

There is no two ways about it.. the NYC social scene is dead. I was in the city a couple weekends ago watching the College Football Saturday slate with my friends and it felt so weird. Our party was for 12 people, but the law only allowed 10 at the table, which lead us to having to split two tables. 6 by 6. It truly felt like I was in a high school classroom again. No one was allowed to stand up. If I wanted to talk to my friend at the table now next to me, I had to play musical chairs and hunch my way over to their table. To use the common bathroom in the bar? 15-20 min. No exaggeration. I don’t care if you’re with your best friends, that’s not fun. I guess you can be bullish on apartment house parties making a comeback again.

Halloween is, and will always be the most overrated US Holiday. I don’t see myself doing anything like I have done in years past(large gathering). It’s a shame too because it’s on an actual Saturday this year!

Back to the social scene of NYC – I am not living there at the moment so maybe I am a bit bias, but I seriously have no reason to unnecessarily rag on the “new norm” of the city. But I am willing to fall on the sword that says, right now. As of October 13th 2020, the city is not fun.

Example: Let’s say you go out to dinner with a coworker and then 2 clients on a beautiful Thursday night after work in the fall. That’s a four person dinner. You eat somewhere in the West Village at 7pm. Now what do you do after? The bars? No, you can’t just hop around and find a nice tavern for post dinner night cap drinks. It is going to be difficult to find a place that will perfectly fit your party size of a walk-in table to get seated. The whole thing is backwards and a mess.

For me selfishly speaking (also learning it’s OK to be selfish), not living in the city, I am not getting that FOMO because I am missing absolutely nothing. I am not going out 2x a week AND then going out on the weekends. That has been a toxic social cycle I was stuck in and also a big money waster. Both my body AND my wallet have been thanking me. Taking this social aspect out of my life has made me much improved. Silver lining in everything.

Disclaimer – this blog is in no way meant to bash the city or not root for a comeback. If anything, I know it will come back stronger and more lively than ever. Until then.. I’ll be posted on the Ocean through Spring and enjoy weekend visits as a touris.

Addiction (Guest Blog)

Addiction – Let’s talk about it. Booze, Cocaine, Strippers (the cocktail of trouble), gambling, winning, stealing, cheating, success, masturbation, puppies. Although most of these have had a net positive effect on society and continue to run almost all of my thought. These are some of the biggest vices that I have and will have for the rest of my life. 

But today I found a new vice. Something that I have never experienced before. Coffee. Did you know that coffee actually comes from coconut trees? Well it doesn’t. It comes from the seeds of berries. MMM! The first time that beatiful taste of chocolate and caramel touched my lips, I instantly knew my life would never be the same. 

Now, you’re probably thinking this is going to turn into me bragging about how much more I could accomplish, much like one of those crossfit freaks who puts “coffee addict” and posts videos of himself power snatching 250 pounds every day at 4AM. No. My newest vice, coffee, instantly sent a shock of exhiliration down my spine that I haven’t felt since I sucked on my mom’s titty for the first time. I immediately had the urge to spit some of the best game I ever have seen (by myself or others). 

I immediately walked up to the counter, hoping to spur a little of giggling from the overweight, mulatto barista. Knowing that I had to hydrate due to the diaretics I have often heard about in coffe, I ordered a “bottle of water.” She immediately handed some bullshit cardboard milk carton full of water, smiled, at me and said “here you go.” 

Knowing I had to spit game and win her over due to my recently acquired superpower, I quipped, “this is good for the environment, right?” she confirmed, then I retorted: “good, then I’m going to throw it on the ground as soon as I get outside.” 

“You like littering?” she said. “Yes, it makes me feel very naughty.” I winked and walked away. As I sat down at my table to finish my final paper for the semester, she approached me with her newly minted business card on bone colored paper with Silian Rail typeface, handed it to me, and requested that I call her within the next 72 hours.

Today was the day I added one more vice to my collection of addictions. Today is the day I will never look back. If only I could go out and test it out at the BARS tonight – but I have to be up at 3AM for Crossfit.

Until next time, cheers.


A Wet Apple

It looks like my much anticipated podcast debut is going to have to be put on hold for now.

This past weekend I went into NYC for the first time since officially moving out of there in the Spring. I will admit, it was a bit of an eerie feeling. Part of me didn’t miss the concrete jungle one bit, the other part of me realized that’s where all my friends are. Super mixed emotions for sure… Anyway, I went to an engagement party and I was asked to bring my “DJ equipment” . I am known to have many alter egos and one of mine is my DJ alias. My trident is yoga/wall street/DJing. The three headed dragon! Music has always been a passion of mine and I like to make people dance and add to a fun experience. Since we took a car into the city, bringing all the gear wasn’t really a problem for me, so I happily obliged.

The classic drunk mom… one hour into me absolutely crushing the ones and twos, I get a niceeee cannonball of champagne on my laptop from an elderly woman. The classic ” My only daughter is getting married so let me get hammered and soak this poor boys laptop in alcohol.”.. It’s a classic mistake. Happens all the time… I couldn’t get mad on such a special night for them. So me being a good sport, I see my laptop go pitch black and I decided to go full Charlie Chaplin. No screaming.. no overreacting, just pure internal pain that my laptop has gone full zero dark thirty. A bit impressed with my emotional control if I do say so myself.

Could this be a blessing in disguise? To be totally honest, I kind of hated my laptop. It was a MacBook Air from 5 years ago, with a two-bit dinky Amazon cover on it. The thing was garbage. Hand up on my end for picking the Air over the MacBook Pro in the first place. Barley used my laptop unless I was DJing or using it to Twitch Stream Madden.

In a turn of events of me being a “blogger” now, I needed this thing more than ever.. I can’t start my podcast up now or able to blog from the comfort of my home. I plan on going to the apple store Sunday and buying a brand new MacBook Pro. Why? Because I can. Why? Because I want to go back to being a laptop guy and using my phone less for things. Why? So I can set up my in-home podcast studio and have super cool guests on and churn some content out. I needed a new laptop anyway and this drunk soon to be mother-in-law was my savior. Thank you, lady.